Wonderful Days, Backstairs Boys
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The new young sensation all over the world has finally made public their story in Wonderful Days, a scoop article in two pages published in the last issue of one of the most famous teen-pop magazines, with the special fold-up poster that you can see above. The title is based on both the name of their first hit single and the time that accompanied its recording. Because we, like our readers, are not satisfied with the vanilla contents of said article, our special reporter, Mizuki Hajime, member of the famous band Mizuki likes brooms, and rival in the top ten of this month of these young boys aged 14 (in each leg), has left aside his bitterness for not being chosen for either the band or the National Team and agreed to subject them to his merciless little questions in his particular corner of our magazine: Queer Eye for the Tennis Guy.
Mizuki: Nfu, araa, I feel honored to have the pleasure of sitting next to a bunch of promising figures such as you, boys. I am sure you all know me, but just in case, I am Mizuki Hajime, manager of Saint Rudolph Tennis club and host of the Queer Eye for the Tennis Guy corner in OresaMagazine ::here:: This is my business card (check the special phone number in red at the reverse: you can always find me on that line, in case you... feel you want to talk to someone who understands you better than anyone). Well, well, I would like to make some points clear to our readers, who must have probably run like the fangirls they are in pursuit of purchasing your new fanservice device. From what I have picked from it, there is not much specific information about the particulars of the origins of the group and the repercusion it had in the Senbatsu activities and posterior formation during the American challenge, which is what we all wanted to know, to be sure; and I quote:
>> The Spirit of the group was first to entertain our fellow teammates in Senbatsu, honor Tezuka-san for returning from Germany as our new coach, and provide a song for the new ending of the series. // Sanada Genichiro, Rikkai
>> I wanted to show everybody that Ore-sama can lead any idol group and make it beat every previous song that was ever created for our sake. Make them drool, I said. And I took it upon myself to achieve it. Nah, Kabaji? Oh, yes, I feel satisfied. // Atobe Keigo, Hyoutei
>> When Kei-chan suggested that we should go for it all, I found the idea so amazingly funny and cool, that I felt happy to have been chosen for the group. I had heard that pop singers have lots of success with the girls, so I said, why not? And accepted immediately. Lucky!!// Sengoku Kiyosumi, Yamabuki
>> Sanada told me that if he had to participate, I should follow his steps, and so I did. Besides, after the thieves stole my preciouss game and made me leave the court physically and psychologically injured, I needed something to gain my confidence back. I am glad I followed my senpai. I'll still beat the crap out of him someday anyway, but by now I feel grateful.// Kirihara Akaya, Rikkai
>> Well, it was obvious from the start that they should have someone with the rhythm sense to make the songs have the adecuate spirit for all sportme...fans. There were some differences at first regarding which tempo to choose for our first hits, given that Akay...Kirihara and I needed faster ones, whereas the Tango Pair had an obvious choice, Sengoku-san didn't mind at all, and Shinji couldn't agree with himself. But in the end it all worked out all right and we could get in the Rhythm together. // Kamio Akira, Fudomine
>> This all sucks. I wished I could write a book myself about how everything went from Atobe's selfishness to Kirihara's whimsical childishness, but all I can say is that I was somehow included in the group because it was rumoured I could play the guitar and mourn the sad past of my team very well, damned TeniMyu, and Tachibana-san said that I had to help Kamio leave Fudomine next to Rikkai in the two to one distribution, but then Oshitari said he wanted to help too and did some background chorus too, for what I felt really pissed off, that was my job. But indeed, he is Atobe's friend and could get into the group instead of Echizen, for instance. I wanted to have him as a singing rival, but does anybody think of Shinji's feelings? No, they don't. They just decide things without taking my opinion into account. How much it sucks, I am so sick of this. But then again, I like being in a group and they are all so nice and friendly to me, that even if I am not that important, even if my voice can barely be heard, it still feels good. Ah, this interview sucks, I wish it was over now, I want to go home, and I know you don't care, but [...]// Ibu Shinji, Fudomine
>> Atobe wanted me to help, ya see? He wanted someone from our team and I accepted. He...some girls in school have said I have a sexy voice, can ya believe it? Rubbish. I am a chorus boy, what a pity. Anyway, I said "Atobe, leave it to me", and joined them. I might not be that important myself, but I am there, supporting them, got it?// Oshitari Yuushi, Hyoutei
Sanada: Pull Tab to Can?
Sengoku: That was such an unlucky name.
Mizuki: But I am sure it was not all in the name, was it? Sa, sa, let us know why you really got together and played for fun, fame, money and...sexual healing?
Kamio: What are you getting at?!
Kirihara: I am lost...I am, really.
Mizuki: Dammit!! I want you to open up and reveal your secrets to me, can I be any plainer?
Atobe: Yes, you can wear your horrid and unstylish purple, flowered blouse, aaah!
Mizuki: ...look who's talking! Both your style and your habits are enough for your starring the new edition of "The Color Purple", and I am sure Kabaji-kun would have a lot to say about that; but let's not digress from the main point, as you so artfully have attempted, Atobe-kun. Speak for your boys if you please, and tell us the truth behind the Backstairs Boys.
Atobe: There is not much I can say that any idiot can't realize from watching the ending video carefully. I am sure the subtle symbolism of the multiple staircases hasn't escaped your acute observation sense, Mizuki.
Mizuki: So many different stairs, so many handsome boys. You managed to get together for the video more pretty boys than what I could manage for my own team. You even had the Kisarazu twins appear together! As insanely jealous as I am, I cannot help but wonder how the hell did you do it?
Atobe: Easy does it. I paid them.
Mizuki: ...I kn...I see.
Oshitari: Ya DID?
Atobe: Not you, you idiot. Nobody from my own team received any money. Oh, and Sanada didn't, either.
Mizuki: Because he was one of the top members of the group?
Sanada: No. Because I didn't want...any money.
Sengoku: I did! Lucky!
Mizuki: So the boys and the stairs, friendship, loneliness and sensuality after school. A nice combination, I must say.
Kamio: Everyone's own path, the hardships of the road, sometimes you climb high, sometimes you go down, but you always have a goal in mind, and no matter the struggles of today, tomorrow you will only remember the good days left behind, and...
Atobe: Nobody asked you, as usual.
Kamio: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Mizuki: Maa, maa, Kamio-kun. Don't get so worked up. I am sure a nice, energetic and valuable young one like you must do perfectly well in and out of this group. And there are some particular questions I want to ask you, as well as a special offer I would like to put forward to you after this interview is over.
Sanada: Mizuki, you are getting more obvious by the day.
Mizuki: Nfu, but last time I almost got Kaido-kun.
Kirihara: Anybody who wants to take any more of my preciousss from me, will have to do it over their own dead body.
Mizuki: Nfu, now THIS is getting interesting. The scenario is getting fired up, just as I predicted.
Atobe: You are making me lose my valuable time and I am getting upset. Can you just ask whatever you have in your damned notebook and get this over and done with?
Mizuki: As you wish, Atobe-kun. Nfu. Let's start from you, if you please.
Atobe: That's fine with me.
Mizuki: Why aren't Oshitari-kun and Shinji-kun in the magazine's poster?
Oshitari: Leave it to me, Ibu-kun. No, ya don't have to say anything, as we agreed, right? Yasee, Mizuki, we aren't there because we didn't want to.
Atobe: ...upset their boyfriends. Gakuto fiercely prohibited him to appear in such a style in public if it wasn't with him. And as for Ibu...he just couldn't smile for the picture, so we left him out.
Shinji: As usual. And it sucks.
Oshitari: Ya promised, remember? If ya don't keep quiet, Atobe won't give ya a truck full of yer favorite grip tape. So, there ya are, Mizuki, now ya know it. I have nothing else to add. Leave me out of the spotlight, I don't need it right now.
Mizuki: Very well, chorus boys. I will focus on the pin-up fivesome. And this time I want you to tell the truth, all of you. Why did you really formed the band? What was your real motivation?
Sanada: What we have told is the truth: we wanted to do something to honor Tezuka-san and celebrate...
Atobe: Drop it, will you? Nobody will believe that after looking at your guilty fingers in the picture.
Mizuki: Something tells me you were aching for him to touch you, but he did not give you the pleasure, did he? Nfufufu.
Atobe: Not then, not there. Anyway, as a matter of fact, it is true that we wanted to impress Tezuka and become the main event in the welcome party that was to come, but after a feud between us to see who would challenge Tezuka first, and a few night encounters in the gym at night, we decided it was not Tezuka we wanted to impress anymore.
Sanada: It was all the Tango's fault. I never suspected Atobe was a tango fan, and from that day in the concert...
Atobe: Not going into the toilet's incident.
Atobe: Sakaki knew we could do very well together. We were at it every night one way or another, so why not take it to the court and gracefully crush the pride of those Americans?
Mizuki: So you feigned indifference and rivalry towards each other, while at the same time...?
Sanada: Feign?! I don't have to feign.
Atobe: Can you imagine this man off-guard, relaxing? I can assure you there is only one particular moment in which I get him to relax and smile, nah, Sanada?
Sanada:... USH... Damn you.
Mizuki: This is all so much better than I had expected! Sanada-kun is red from blushing, but I bet that a certain hospitalized buchou is greener with envy now than his long-standing clothes.
Atobe: Yukimura was going to cut his balls for losing against Seigaku anyway. One affront more or less won't change his mind.
Atobe: Are you getting sentimental on me, AAAAAH?
Mizuki: Love birds...how touching. And I am not referring to our previous pair, but to our next one. Kamio-kun and Kirihara-kun, you have come here to confess before everybody that you don't really hate each other as much as you pledge, but only one tenth of the passion you have developed during Senbatsu time and that everybody and their coaches have already taken for granted and public.
Kirihara: I never thought we were so obvious...
Mizuki: Nfu. Why did you start training together after the stairs incident?
Kamio: Because when he fell down, I fell for him. I fell for him the moment I saw him falling down the stairs and...
Mizuki: And there we have the stairs as the new metaphor for coming out of the closet. No wonder the ending video has us all! Oh my, I shall have to bring the extras to this little cozy corner of mine, too, nfu. This is all so exciting! Anyway, you were saying?
Kamio: ...Right. So I can never thank Ann-chan enough for making me open my eyes and finally forget about my crush on her…What can I say, I like Akaya's rhythm better. He really turns me on. And he is a cute, hot sonofabitch.
Mizuki: And you, Kirihara-kun? Why did you pair up with him for training and other affairs? One day you were fighting, the following you were stuck with superglue.
Kirihara: Because from that day on, he started being nice with me. And nobody had been that nice with me for a long while. My teammates harrass me, bitch-slap me, belittle me and finally beat the crap out of me every other day and the previous. Even Niou, my training partner after the defeat against Seigaku, was rough and demanding on me. He likes me very much, but he has his own partner. I wanted my own. And I wanted someone who could heat me up. Besides, I love his hair. It’s as red as my eyes after I have bitten the dust…I'd rather bite HIM. And now he is mine, MINE, ALL MINE!! For all I care, the Tachibanas can ride my middle...
Kamio: Akaya! Stop it! Don't say bad things about Tachibana or Ann-chan if you don't want me to...
Kirihara: What? Huh? What? (licks lips).
Kamio: Damn you, bastard...now I need to go to the toilet...
Mizuki: And they say my relationship with Yuuta-kun is twisted...
Mizuki: Well, well, let us now leave aside the Tango Pair and the Crimson Pair and focus on this apparently misplaced boy who said that he did it for the fun and for the girls, is that not so, Sengoku-kun?
Sengoku: Oh yes.
Mizuki: But do you realize how delicate your situation is among those who are so blatantly engaged to each other...photographically speaking, of course.
Sengoku: I think it's hard time we stopped beating around the bush, Mizuki. You and everybody with two eyes and some brains cannot mistake that poster for sheer fanservice even if they wanted to.
Mizuki: Are you having a hard time, Sengoku-kun? Because there are some bushes we can hide behind after this interview is over, if you need some help. It is a most popular sport in St. Rudolph, whenever we go to spy on other teams! Actually, Yuuta-kun loves it...
Sengoku: It's high time, high!! (laughs).
Kamio: Sengoku-san, Rythm ni noru zo!
Sengoku: Hai, hai, Kami-chan. Let's have a red-hairs...Ok, Kiri-chan, don't look at me like that let's make it a red-hair, red-eyes party after this, OK?
Kirihara: Two red-hairs for myself. This time I will surpass my own limit, yayayayayayayyyyyyy!
Mizuki: (I reckon that I need to get Kirihara first if I want Kamio for my team...ahem...) Sengoku-kun, you were saying?
Sengoku: Oh, yes, yes. The girls and all that stuff. You see, I was perfectly heterosexual until I lost to everybody and then I lost myself. I first considered going into the church, but I finally settled for practising Boxing to find my own style. I got fitter, stronger and faster. And it seems that my body got nicely shaped and my muscles well toned. Then I was chosen for the Japan Team, and one fine day I realized that even if girls kept ignoring me as usual, all the boys in Senbatsu were shamelessly lusting after my ass…
Mizuki: Oh yes, I remember that day. Boy, such a fine ars...a hot day. You gave Momoshiro-kun a hard time indeed.
Sengoku: I gave it some thought, and said to myself "Kiyokiyo, if you could indulge with Akutsu in the shower-rooms for the past year, why not try some other flavour? Tenderness would be a nice change, for once."
Mizuki: And was Kajimoto tender?
Sengoku: OH YES! He had a team member, that serious, boring guy, Shinjo, buy wine and shrimps for us, and then Nagi-kun prepared a cocktail for me, and then he saw me to daylight. Oh God, was he elastic! ...waitaminute...how did YOU know?
Mizuki: Nfunfufufu. I also heard you had quite a enjoyable time with the twins. They like to play doubles together, you know. So unlike other sibling couples...And Momoshiro-kun drowned his miseries in you after Tezuka-kun returned to claim Echizen-kun, did he not? Some weeks later you took him to a dubious karaoke in a hidden, dark alley and had him repay you the favour, did you not?
Mizuki: And I always wanted to know, is it true what they say about Saeki-kun having a thing for energetic red-heads?
Sengoku: Well, Fuji didn't let him get away with Kikumaru, so I guess I was the next best option...
Mizuki: And DID you or did you not have fun with Oshitari-kun after Atobe-kun and Sanada-kun started tango-ing together?
Sengoku: ...that night I got very, VERY lucky (sighs). He sure knows how to treat a guy...I should learn from him. I might have more success with the girls if I knew how to treat them half as good as he treated me.
Oshitari: Oi, I am still here, ya know. And Gakuto *IS* reading for sure.
Mizuki: Then blackmail is your friend - tell him that he is so vocal that he should avoid pairing up with people like Momoshiro-kun, who is quite as loud as himself, and we all know that both Kikumaru-kun and him enjoy the spotlight in every circumstance, but a park at broad daylight is not a good place to solve differences and UST at the same time. You see, I might use spying devices for good measure, but sometimes I just have to happen to be walking around to get fresher and better raw material, nfufu.
Oshitari: Seems he forgot to tell me quite a few things. Ii ya. I'll use it. Thank ya.
Sengoku: The truth is, that if I could have someone like Oshitari or Oishi, for instance, I wouldn't have to worry about my unluckiness with girls anymore.
Oshitari: Oishi? Fat chance. Too involved with his own private kitten.
Mizuki: Or his captain, for that matter, when the kitten goes to play with the big bear. Nfu. And family. Nevertheless, Sengoku-kun, you are a big romantic, are you not?
Sengoku: I just want to be lucky in love for once.
Mizuki: And who doesn't? But luck is something we make by plotting carefully, Sengoku-kun. We all have to create our perfect love scenario. And once we have achieved it, we usually discover it is much funnier and more pleasant to meddle with the others'. Meanwhile, these five, fine young pieces of man flesh are out of the closet into the frying magazine for all of you, my dear readers. I hope all your morbid curiosity has been as satisfied as mine. I expect to see you here in the next issue of Queer Eye for the Tennis Guy, and don't forget to purchase my new single, *Nfu~*. If Atobe can rescue an old Japanese classic, so can I with a Spanish hit. I am not learning Spanish for nothing, after all. Be good, be gay and, above all, let me get into your lives! Nfufufu.
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